Monday, November 23, 2009

Inherent Laws of Retail Plant Sales

Law No. 3: Customer Inquiries

Part I

The customer would rather ask you how much something costs, than read the sign that's two inches from their hand.

Part II

The customer, on a 53% basis, will want something that doesn't exist (for example, the blue geranium).

Part III

"The ambiguous plant" seeker. This customer identifies a plant with this description: "It's in my neighbors yard. It's sorta large. It's green and has white flowers on it. It's so beautiful. You know what I'm talking about, right?"

Part IV

"Do you work here?" is often asked to employees wearing their garden center uniform.

Next week - The Probables


Paul Riddell said...

Don't forget that the "Do you work here?" question also applies to the biker in full leathers and a Butthole Surfers T-shirt who comes in to look for flowers for his wife. I should know: it happens to me incessantly, as that customer ignores the multiple employees in full uniform that stream by. (It also happens to me at chain bookstores, and when I respectfully explain that I don't work there, I get a screechy and angry "Well, why NOT?")

Anonymous said...

How's about the "Can I buy just one plant out of the 6-pack?"